Today is my final reconstruction surgery & an another liver biopsy. As I wrote “final” hesitantly because surgeries just like chemo can be life long reoccurring tasks with metastatic breast cancer. This surgery has started off bitter sweet. In defense of the doctors they truly tried to schedule and plan a double surgery to make it less of a burden to me. But then again most everything with cancer doesn't go as planned because everyone's journey is so different so we are all stormy unpredictable disasters at times.
Let's get down and personal. Every time I approach something like this I think, should I just stare at Martin incase it's the last time? Did I update my will? I really hope my celebration of life is huge! I'm tired... I hope he knows I love him... augh my hip might be fractured again it hurts to move... maybe practicing Zumba yesterday for an upcoming fundraiser wasn't the best move! Oh hello collar bone, why are you acting up again? I'm hot! Brrrr I'm cold. Am I sick? Can I handle getting sick? I hate chemo but I can't wait to go back Tuesday. Ok all of above just flowed through my head in less than 2 mins waiting to head into pre-op at 6:00 am this cold morning. But I'm a firm believer of the power of thought so immediately I say "It may not be true for some, but it is true for me. I always prosper no matter where I am, or whatever is going on."-- Louise Hays
My first liver biopsy luckily happened when I was in the hospital last year and I'm lucky again for them to accommodate me here again. At the hospital they can at least help me manage my pain but their reason is because I'm metastatic; I'm a little bit unreliable. I love being one of a kind 😏. I'm curious (in a nervous way) what will hurt more my liver; which I know is extremely painful or my final breast reconstruction. My friend had her "final" breast reconstruction last year and she swears it was one of the easier surgeries and she now has to undergo another surgery for it. But everyone handles everything different. I do at times get jealous of others who go through treatments that end. I would love to get surgery, recover and be done. But that is not my case or the case of many of us living with metastatic breast cancer.
Just like a ride at 6 flags, here goes nothing!
**written after coming off anesthesia
Quick update to what I was originally curious about, which procedure would hurt more. Reconstruction hands done is extremely painful and keeping me awake! The doctor warned it would be painful if I needed sutures and I did end up with them. So the winner of which one is more painful is "drumroll" lol reconstruction.