When I look in the mirror I see many scars.
My chest is striped with two large scars. Two scars that remind me each day that pain is temporary.
I look at my arms and see needle prick scars from all the IVs and blood draws.
I see my port scar, a bulging lump that marks where my chemotherapy is administered. Oh my dear heart.
I see my short, dark hair as a scar, since it isn’t the hair I began my journey with.
I look down at my feet to remind myself that they are still there.
My teeth ache as I wait for the opportunity for my blood counts to approve so I can see a dentist.
I see my 60-pounds-lighter body, which is bittersweet.
I see my slightly pronounced right collarbone, which fractured in my sleep.
I feel my hip, which hurts every time it rains.
I view in the mirror my complexion, my chemo-aged skin and wrinkles.
I now have freckles ... which I never asked for.
And last, my biggest scar of all -- which is invisible to everyone but me. My infertile womb, the reality of which I struggle with each and every day.
My scars remind me that whatever comes next, it might not be as bad as what I have dealt with. But if it is worse, that pain can truly be temporary.
My scars are a part of me and a constant reminder that I survived this long, and they offer me courage for what’s to come...
Woman battling all stages of breast cancer loose a piece of their identity. Even though we may smile publicly, when we are alone with the mirror, it can take a few seconds to remember that is YOU staring back through the mirror. Sometimes you need the opportunity to see a different you, but a you your proud of now. Adjusting to the new you can be a challenge itself and for me a boost of confidence was exactly what I needed.
The Fab-U-Wish program was developed by Guliana Rancic to help make women like me feel beautiful again. Before cancer I NEVER wore makeup. People I leaned on told me I never needed it and I loved never wearing it.
I don’t think I’m ugly now, but I do appreciate the opportunity to have someone doll me up like a princess. Sometimes that dose of confidence can turn what may be borderline depression into a day of depression relief. You can bet that when I’m down I ask someone to help me grow and shine.
Guilana Rancic’s program helped lift me up. Learn more here...
Metastatic Breast Cancer Thriver/Founder of Metastatically Speaking