Here in New England Sunday could remind you of Spring, Monday could be freezing, Tuesday typical, Wednesday Summer, Thursday Blizzard, Friday Fall and Saturday 50’s.
Well most people say ‘Larissa you look so good’ or ‘your walking so much better’.
Well, New England and I are twins!
Sunday I can feel 31. Strong. On the move. Healthy. Days like this I can almost forget I have cancer for short intervals!
Monday I can feel anxious and nervous and I go back & forth about seeing a psychologist. Mondays can be predictable because no matter how used to chemotherapy I get, I still get nervous the night before.
Tuesday, oh my emotional, bittersweet Tuesday. Tuesdays are soooooo much fun! I get to feel almost every sense of emotion within a matter of a few hours. Anxious and desperately doing everything I can to prep for chemo while not forgetting to apply my numbing cream. Tuesday mornings if I walk out the door and forget my numbing cream, then for the next hour or two my anxiety is through the roof until they access my port. Then I usually have 1 or 2 hours of party time. My oncology nurses are very sweet women and if you’re slightly down somehow have the power to lift you up from it. They can make you feel brave and strong. Not sure what they eat at home but we all should eat whatever they eat. Then I leave, and start to wait for the side effects.
Wednesday usually sucks. If you see me out and about on a Wednesday, I’m pretending to be well. (I have many days where I put a smile on my face and try to keep looking forward to avoid possibly accidentally throwing up on someone.)
Thursday can usually feel the same.
Friday i’m bouncing back. Well, unless New England is about to get a storm or I’m having bad luck and my hip tumor starts to flair. And if my week turns unlucky I’m forced to relive what it feels like to have the feeling of satan slowly breaking my hip bone. And my husband has to fetch my cane and I suddenly appear 90.
Saturday on a week after my Lupron shot can become a brutal summer day. It’s so hot! It doesn’t matter how cold it is outside. I’m sweating. I can’t tell you how many times I contemplate laying naked in the snow just to get a relief. This isn’t just on Saturdays. My hot flashes can be all day everyday but a few days out from Lupron we have a monthly party us two. I always know to prepare for a fun day or two of the worst hot flashes that are so bad they make the rest of them for the month look like a walk in the park.
Then it’s back to Sunday and who knows what to expect.