My 32nd Year
Now that my 32nd birthday is in my rearview mirror, the questions begin: was that my last one? Will I see 33? Am I living my life the way I should? Is my focus in the right direction?
Many times when phrases such as “when I die” or “if I see 33” spill out of my mouth, they aren’t meant to sound negative, or imply that I don’t believe I will live. In my opinion that’s not being negative, but rather positively realistic. Of course I don’t want people cheering on my demise, and it’s not that I don’t believe in the power of faith. Being positively realistic helps keep my mind on the goal: to live my life in the now.
I wonder constantly if I’m spending too much time working, or if being lazy is wasting valuable time that I might not have a lot of. As I sit here writing on a Saturday in bed, I ponder: should I get up and do something else? There is probably no correct answer, because the answer is something very personal to each and every one of us.
Even though I’m facing rising medical bills this year, I’m not going to allow that to stop me from living. I’ve been positively realistic through most of my journey and it is a big reason my husband used some of the last of our savings on a used RV last year. Money won’t follow me to where I go next, but the memories I leave behind will be priceless.
So my 32nd year will be full of opportunity. I gave myself three goals: Shine, Thrive and Live. Shine bright to attract opportunity, thrive to show myself anything is possible and live each day even if it can be a little scary. We will travel, we will see my cousins walk down the aisle, we will keep fighting and praying for a reduction of my cancers, and I’m going to continue to grow as an advocate.
Goal-setting when your future is unclear is like working hard on something that you know you might not finish. It’s hard to put all of you into something that may be left unfinished; well, at least for me it feels that way.
So this year’s bucket list, a.k.a my three goals of 2018: