Blogging when you don't feel good it is definitely much harder than blogging when you feel OK. When I started blogging I had bad days, but I was fortunate to have many good days. Recently, I've had many more bad days than good days.
This past week was my first week back in chemo, and I really feel it. I don't know if it was the chemo or my liver that made me sick, but I was puking before I got my chemo.
Last Monday’s drive to Dana Farber in Boston went very well; we barely hit any traffic, we barely got lost, for the most part we were running on time and everything went rather smoothly. But my stomach was bothering me, and had been for days. When I say my stomach is bothering me, it's really my liver — it's so big that it's pushing on a lot of organs, making things very uncomfortable. I have been very fortunate to have had not too many days where I needed to vomit.
The chemo I am on is administered much more easily than my previous infusions, and while I could receive my treatments in Connecticut, I feel it is smarter to get my foot in the door at Dana Farber now, in the hopes that I will become eligible for a clinical trial in the future.
I still walked in to chemo with a smile on my face, full of jokes and sarcasm and grateful to be starting treatment. I am still surrounded by such remarkable people and great help. So this won't be a long blog because like I said before blogging while you don't feel good isn't so simple. So I'm going to go back and rest, eventually try to eat and get fluid down and, most importantly, feel better. I will keep you all updated and in the loop!
Here is an example of how I feel:
Have you ever been really hung over and you knew that for the next few hours you should be careful with the liquids, maybe don't eat and rest it off? Then, in between 2 and 8 hours, you pull yourself off the floor and go eat some Chinese food or chicken wings.
The only difference with me is I don't know when the hangover will end, so I can't go eat and drink a huge glass of ice water. Because lately, whenever I think I'm feeling OK, a few hours later the hangover has begun again. Although I have had zero alcohol in over a year, I'm still a champ! After all those years of practice in college, I know how to pull myself off the floor and I know the drill. I just need to learn the signs of when it's going to happen so I can go on the defense. Maybe there will never be warning signs and this is it until my liver gets better.
Thank you college for the real-life training! Now I just need to find a clean cold surface to rest on in the dog days of summer!