God I remember this day! One year ago today I had my double mastectomy! I remember waking up nervous like anyone else. But I knew I needed to be positive. At that point I changed my eating around. Exercised religiously. Prepared my body for recovery. I was strong and I actually felt the strongest & healthiest ever in my adult life!
This would be my first trip to Hartford Hospital for my cancer journey. It was really busy in the check-in room and I didn’t know what to expect. The nurses who helped prep me said that I was really calm for having surgery... I was scared out of my mind but I repetitively repeated my affirmations:
Then I would visualize the words 'cancer' on a flower and blow it away. 'I will wake up cancer free’.
I had downloaded weeks before ‘Cancer: Discovering Your Healing Power’ by Louise Hay. When I started to feel myself drown in fear I put my headphones on and listened. During College I had to read a self help book for a class. I hate reading! So while I was at the book store looking for a book to meet the requirements I stumbled upon ‘You Can Do It’ by Louise Hay. It was a small, short book and I thought perfect it even comes with a CD so I don’t even have to read it. This short book changed my life then and has supported me emotionally through cancer too. Louise Hay is a cancer survivor herself and she still gives me hope. I listened to ‘Cancer’ before and after my double mastectomy. I remember waking up in my room in so much pain, I turned her on and got up from my bed. It can take some woman over a 1 day to rise from bed because the pain knocks the wind out of you, but like Louise Hay says; I Can Do It! I was a told I would spend 1-3 nights in the hospital or until I could walk down the hallway. I was so driven to leave I left the following morning. I was in the hospital for 24 hours and the doctors said it was contributed to my physical strength. If your preparing for a big surgery like a double mastectomy prep your upper back and leg muscles you will depend on them!
That day in the hospital I believed I would walk in with cancer and leave cancer free. I mean I spend hours on the elliptical weeks leading up envisioning the doctors sitting me down to tell me, ‘Larissa we have wonderful news for you, your cancer free’. That day didn’t come as many of your probably know, but I still believe in affirmations and the universe. Things don’t always happen like you plan but the good you attract can still shine into your life in different ways.
I cannot believe its April 7th and I can’t believe I'm approaching April 27th which will mark 1 year since my metastatic breast cancer diagnosis. I guess you can say April is a sad month or I could say its the month that woke me up!